36: How To Break Up With Your Provider

Today, we’re chatting about how to break up with your provider? Maybe you’re not sure if you need to switch providers…Maybe you don’t even realize there is another option for you…Maybe you’ve just been content to deal with your current provider relationship as it is, and do something different next time. I’m going to break it all down for you on the show today:

Signs you need to break up with your provider:

  • Your preferences don’t align

  • You aren’t getting your questions answered

  • You don’t feel heard

  • You don’t feel supported

  • You’re afraid to upset your care provider (OB or midwife)

  • You’re worried about what your care provider might think

  • If you’re ever thought to yourself, I don’t want my care provider to think I don’t trust them  

  • If you get nervous when your care provider walks in the room. Or you notice your heart starts to race, your hands get sweaty, or your start experiencing any physical symptoms of anxiety in the presence of your care provider.

  • Your provider makes fun of you or makes light of what you have to say or is making jokes about questions you might have

  • You feel pressured into doing something that you’re not comfortable with? ie induction, pain meds, cesarean birth, etc.

  • Your provider does not value things that are important to your family.


Just because a provider delivered all of your friends babies or you’ve been seeing this provider for years, does not mean that their style of care will align with the type of care that would best meet your needs.


Changing care providers in your third trimester can be challenging friend, but it ABSOLUTELY can be done! You’re never too late to get the type of care you deserve. So please don’t let the fact that you’re in your third trimester hold you back. Your birth experience is TOO important!


Alright friends if you want to change providers, I’m going to lay it all out for you step by step…

I’ve got the best news for you… YOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY A WORD to your old provider if you don’t want to!


So for those of you who don’t like confrontation here’s what you do:

  1. Call up your new provider and schedule an appointment with them. Establish care with your new provider and have your new provider request that your records be sent over. Done : ) No conversation needed.   


For those of you who can handle a small amount of confrontation you can…

  1. Write a letter or email saying, thank you for your time, but I’m changing providers. No explanation is needed.

  2. For those of you who are Enneagram 8s or you just don’t mind confrontation… I would send an email to your current provider telling them you are leaving, and explain what went wrong with your care and how they can do better in the future. Schedule an appointment with your new provider and the office will request that your records be sent over for you!



Are you in the camp of, '“I don’t like my current provider and I don’t know who to switch to…” reach out to the doulas and childbirth educators in your area, ask your friends who they liked and WHY they liked them.

Choosing a provider that aligns with your preferences is SO IMPORTANT. And for some of you its choosing a provider GROUP that aligns with your goals for your birth, since you won’t know who will be on call when you’re in labor…

You deserve and should expect that you receive individualized education, counseling, and prenatal care, throughout your pregnancy and birth experience!

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